Sucks, not being able to sleep!

Yes, here I am resolved not to go to sleep until I write something here. It is very early in the morning and I have so many worries and concerns that it is hard to concentrate on just what it is that I want to convey with this installment.

I also have resolved to post at least one photo with each new blog to sort of show my attitude for the evening. The above photo is courtesy of a japanese website called "Cruising with Jazz". Seems, for some reason, I was in a terrible mood this evening and I ended up drinking anyway. It was the usual. I am going to be completely honest here. I mean, I have to be, with someone, and it might as well be you. I had a half-pint of vodka tonight. Well, it really isn't a half-pint, but 200 ml, but that is beside the point. The fact is, I drank, and that is not good.


Aside from that point, I did pretty good today. Gotta start taking that Antabuse again tomorrow. It is the same story everyday... Tomorrow I will quit. That is where I think the psychological and social help that AA provides comes in. Just gotta start with the quitting and it should be OK after that. Well, not really OK, but at least easier than if I don't start quitting.

I have gotten to the point where, I really see no logical reason to drink, yet somehow, I have the compulsion to do so. I end up having to wait until everyone has gone to bed and then I can do it. Sucks, having to wait, hide and and ruin my day. Not literally, of course but, in my mind, figuratively. Just thought of a thousand reasons to be able to rationalize it, but whatever. I am not going to go into that. Just gotta stop doing it. If anybody actually reads this, pray for me.

I got my hair cut today and you know what? It sucks!!!!!!!!!! I look like I have a baby mullet. Gotta go get it fixed tomorrow. I got it done at Tim's Barber Shop by the lady that lives next door, Helen. She is a real sweetheart, but my hair looks like Shiz-ite! I feel like I am in an episode of Seinfeld. I gotta go back there and get Tim to fix my hair, but I don't want to go when she is working. I don't want to hurt her feelings, y'know? Really, I think that it is my fault for having such a lack of knowing what I want done with my hair, aside from having it all shaved off. Gotta get it fixed though. YOWZA!!!

Also, another feature that I think I will start is to put a link up for a totally useless and mindless website every post. These are websites that serve no purpose to society yet are not to be missed, because you never knew that you would care about things that are so mindless and entertaining. Also, the simple fact that some people have so much time on their hands is mind-boggling. These must have been the people that played D&D in high school. Actually, come to think of it, if I didn't drink, I would probably have time to make a Gayle Guyardo shrine... ...hmmmm????

So here is the link for the page of the day.



It is utterly amazing. Not that someone would come up with this concept, (did these sorts of thing in high school all the time), but that someone would actually take the time to create a web page devoted to it and maintain it. Not to mention that grown men,(and yes I mean men, because no self respecting woman would ever have searched for anything that would have brought them to this page) come to this page and nominate and vote on these things. Whatever! Talk to you later. Gotta go to bed.