It's Been A Year (and a day, actually).

Here I am posting again and, MAN, HAS IT BEEN A LONG TIME! Hope you have been willing to bear with me. Thanks! Here is my first post back. A flashback from another place and time. Ten years ago (and a month and a day actually) to be exact. Well, here goes. It is an entry from my personal journal of so long ago. (DREAM SEQUENCE MUSIC)

11 February 1996

Janine got her "Big Buddy". (Ed. "Big Buddy" is code for "Her time of the month") The reason I had to write that is because she can never remember when she is supposed to get her period, so I told her that I would start keeping track of it for her. So, anyway, tomorrow I leave for North Carolina. I'm not nervous, because I've made the trip a hundred times before and I am not really excited or un-excited because I am starting a new chapter of my life; trudging a new path. But, I do know that I'm going to miss Janine superiorly. I'm gonna miss my family and my friends alot too. And I'll probably even miss my Publix family, just a little bit. The bulk of my day, I spent packing. What did you expect? I do everything at the last minute. That's the joy about Janine. She is the same way. I did hang out with JR, Rick and Craig, however, which was pretty cool. We just went to Checkers and got some "Sourdoughs" and made fun of Joe because he wasn't there, and of JR because, well... just because.

So, there you have it. Hopefully, in the near future, you will be able to indulge more into the personal life of my past. Until then, here is a picture of the way I appeared, "Back in the day".

I love this picture! 

END OF THE SUBWAY ERA

End of the era.

This Dude's a Freakin' Dork!!!

I hope you like SPACE MOUNTAIN. Watching the movie on the website that this links you to is self explanatory. This dude has, like a three minute Space Mountain conniption fit. What a nerd. Don't get me wrong, I love Space Mountain. But I don't sound like a dweeb when I ride it. I scream like everyone else does. By the way, if you didn't know already, you should click on the words "SPACE MOUNTAIN" above. They are a link to a different page. Here is a pic of one of my favorite places on earth. Hope you like it. I love when it looks like this in Florida. Means a summer thunderstorm is approaching. OOOOhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

I wanna go to Sylva

Well, it is the second weekend in a row that I haven't been able to go to North Carolina, Sylva in particular, when it has snowed. Seems like these winters come about every five to six years. They are due for a snowy and COLD winter. I have been really disappointed these past two weeks because I haven't gotten my way. I have been feeling really Cinderella-like. I feel so bad because I think that I have been a real crank to everyone due to the fact that I haven't gotten my way. What more can I say. I STILL feel bad for myself. Oh well. Maybe next time.

I checked my sisters blog tonight and found a great post. My response is duplicated below. In the meantime, these pictures are of my favorite place. The top one is from The Sylva Herald archives. Taken back in December of 2000. The bottom two are from the Cold Springs Ranch website. Mike Miller owns the ranch and lives there with his two dogs, Sugar and Timber. Cold Springs Ranch is near Max Patch, if you are familiar with the area. What a great place to live. His website is also the one that I will feature on this posting. The address is below. Drop by and sign his guestbook and check out the ton of great pictures he has there.

http://www.coldspringsranch.net/





BELOW IS AN EXCERPT FROM MY SISTERS BLOG.
http://laurabsupercoolblog.blogspot.com/

You said it SISTER. It is SO hard. I am constantly at war with myself. I find that Paul said it best in Romans Chapter 7...

Rom 7:14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.

Rom 7:15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.

Rom 7:16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that [it is] good.

Rom 7:17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

Rom 7:18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but [how] to perform that which is good I find not.

Rom 7:19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

Rom 7:20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

Rom 7:21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.

Rom 7:22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:

Rom 7:23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

Rom 7:24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

Rom 7:25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

"For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do."
That pretty much sums up my life on an everyday basis. Anyhow, I really appreciate your thoughts this evening. I also wanted to let you know that I find it very refreshing that you, whether you know it or not, are a voice of reason in an age of hyper-liberalism in the collegiate realm.

"But when we are securely rooted in a personal intamacy with the source of life, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative."
You are right, this is a great quote. This is also known as having convictions. So many people in our present day lack convictions; whether they be moral, religious or in most cases political. And even fewer of those people are willing to express their convictions publicly.
On a different note, I love Nickle Creek. I think the name of the song I like most is, "When you come back down". What great music.

IM With Sis

Tonight I am just putting up an Instant Messaging session I had with my sis, earlier, because it has all my pertinent thoughts contained within it. In case you didn't notice, she is a super-cool sibling. The picture above is courtesy of the Haywood County Public Library. I used to work there, eight years ago, and with that lady even. The website of the day for you to check out is...

http://www.40ozmaltliquor.com/main.html

And without further ado, here is the Instant Messaging session from tonight.



Heyraymond1: are you really still on here? and if so... why?
LongIslandD: whats up fool
LongIslandD: lol
Heyraymond1: just getting ready to write in my blog
LongIslandD: why are you on here?
Heyraymond1 : checking email
LongIslandD: lol are you serious?!@
Heyraymond1: yup
LongIslandD: you have a blog?
Heyraymond1: i actually started one.
Heyraymond1: it was free
LongIslandD: lol i wanna read it
Heyraymond1: and i was inspired by another dude that started one and he writes about the local morning news reports from all the different stations and what they did each morning. very mundane, but amusing.
Heyraymond1: gotta love gayle guyardo
LongIslandD: lol
LongIslandD: you crack me up
Heyraymond1: i only have a couple days worth of entries in there so far. If you really want to read it you can. I will send you the link.
Heyraymond1: but it is sort of like a diary that other people can read and comment on
LongIslandD: lol yeah send me the link
Heyraymond1: will do. hehehe. hang on.
LongIslandD: lol ok
Heyraymond1: hang on. one more minute.
LongIslandD: lol ok
LongIslandD: hows life been?
Heyraymond1: Um... aside from the struggle to not be a freakin' drunk, well I guess, OK. Here is the link. Now remember, the oldest and hence, first link is at the bottom of the page. So if you start reading from the top you are going backwards and it may not make sense. I will stay on aol. Tell me what you think after you have read it. Here it is.

http://mcfeelys.blogspot.com/
Heyraymond1: Are you on there?
Heyraymond1: I LOVE MY 'BLOG!!!! HEEE HEEE HEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LongIslandD: lol
LongIslandD: i love the speedy delivery
LongIslandD: is there only 2 things?
Heyraymond1: That is the name of my blog
Heyraymond1: 2 days worth
Heyraymond1: I told you
Heyraymond1: Did you get the meaning?
LongIslandD: yes sir i do
Heyraymond1: A speedy delivery from alcohol.
Heyraymond1: I just wish there was some magic potion that I could take that would make the desire and the cravings go away.
LongIslandD: dude..... its the same with food
Heyraymond1: That is the worst part, as is with any addiction.
LongIslandD: we have a family of addiction
Heyraymond1: yup
Heyraymond1: gotta have those bean burritos and seven layer burritos and cheesy gordita crunch's
Heyraymond1: so did you read it?
Heyraymond1: all?
LongIslandD: yes sir
Heyraymond1: add it to your favorites if you want to keep up.
Heyraymond1: and stop calling me sir!
Heyraymond1: You can also comment if you want.
Heyraymond1: Do you watch Spongebob?
LongIslandD: no
Heyraymond1: Good, cause I was gonna say, "You are gay!"
Heyraymond1: I am just joking.
LongIslandD: i hate spongebob
LongIslandD: your uncle sam is awesome
LongIslandD: have you been drikning?
Heyraymond1: I LOVE SPONGEBOB
Heyraymond1: who is uncle sam
LongIslandD: i dont know
LongIslandD: i take that as a yes
Heyraymond1: WHAT!!!
Heyraymond1: really what were you talking about, uncle sam
LongIslandD: i dont know i just thought of it randomly
Heyraymond1: I was going to send you some Spongebob soundclips
LongIslandD: nooo
Heyraymond1: If I was drinking, could I type this fast?
LongIslandD: i dont know lol
Heyraymond1: Do you really not like Spongebob?
Heyraymond1: I love spongebob
LongIslandD: i would think you would be prety skilled by now
Heyraymond1: and so does LOUIE
Heyraymond1: Yes, I am the master of typing drunk
Heyraymond1: That is why I never get a TUI
Heyraymond1: Waiting
Heyraymond1: Waiting
Heyraymond1: Waiting
LongIslandD: tui?
Heyraymond1: You're killing me here
LongIslandD: shwhat?
Heyraymond1: Typing Under Intoxication
LongIslandD: lol lmbo
LongIslandD: you dork
Heyraymond1: you couldnt go for the "lmao"... wasnt that funny, huh?
Heyraymond1: I AM JUST KIDDING!!!
Heyraymond1: Never mind
LongIslandD: lol you crack me up
Heyraymond1: Go back to whatever it was that you were doing before I interrupted you.
Heyraymond1: In the interest of being totally honest, which is what I am trying to do these days, with everyone.
Heyraymond1: By the way, I did drink tonight.
Heyraymond1: You don't know how hard it is for me to admit that.
Heyraymond1: To someone else.
Heyraymond1: SUCKS!
LongIslandD: i know it is dude.
LongIslandD: well, mucho grande props for telling me
Heyraymond1: Alright, alright, I am getting emotionally vulnerable here... I am gonna have to cut this off.

Pesky weblog!

For some reason the link didn't show up in the last post. Here it is.

http://www.super-hair.net/wars.html

Sucks, not being able to sleep!

Yes, here I am resolved not to go to sleep until I write something here. It is very early in the morning and I have so many worries and concerns that it is hard to concentrate on just what it is that I want to convey with this installment.

I also have resolved to post at least one photo with each new blog to sort of show my attitude for the evening. The above photo is courtesy of a japanese website called "Cruising with Jazz". Seems, for some reason, I was in a terrible mood this evening and I ended up drinking anyway. It was the usual. I am going to be completely honest here. I mean, I have to be, with someone, and it might as well be you. I had a half-pint of vodka tonight. Well, it really isn't a half-pint, but 200 ml, but that is beside the point. The fact is, I drank, and that is not good.


Aside from that point, I did pretty good today. Gotta start taking that Antabuse again tomorrow. It is the same story everyday... Tomorrow I will quit. That is where I think the psychological and social help that AA provides comes in. Just gotta start with the quitting and it should be OK after that. Well, not really OK, but at least easier than if I don't start quitting.

I have gotten to the point where, I really see no logical reason to drink, yet somehow, I have the compulsion to do so. I end up having to wait until everyone has gone to bed and then I can do it. Sucks, having to wait, hide and and ruin my day. Not literally, of course but, in my mind, figuratively. Just thought of a thousand reasons to be able to rationalize it, but whatever. I am not going to go into that. Just gotta stop doing it. If anybody actually reads this, pray for me.

I got my hair cut today and you know what? It sucks!!!!!!!!!! I look like I have a baby mullet. Gotta go get it fixed tomorrow. I got it done at Tim's Barber Shop by the lady that lives next door, Helen. She is a real sweetheart, but my hair looks like Shiz-ite! I feel like I am in an episode of Seinfeld. I gotta go back there and get Tim to fix my hair, but I don't want to go when she is working. I don't want to hurt her feelings, y'know? Really, I think that it is my fault for having such a lack of knowing what I want done with my hair, aside from having it all shaved off. Gotta get it fixed though. YOWZA!!!

Also, another feature that I think I will start is to put a link up for a totally useless and mindless website every post. These are websites that serve no purpose to society yet are not to be missed, because you never knew that you would care about things that are so mindless and entertaining. Also, the simple fact that some people have so much time on their hands is mind-boggling. These must have been the people that played D&D in high school. Actually, come to think of it, if I didn't drink, I would probably have time to make a Gayle Guyardo shrine... ...hmmmm????

So here is the link for the page of the day.



It is utterly amazing. Not that someone would come up with this concept, (did these sorts of thing in high school all the time), but that someone would actually take the time to create a web page devoted to it and maintain it. Not to mention that grown men,(and yes I mean men, because no self respecting woman would ever have searched for anything that would have brought them to this page) come to this page and nominate and vote on these things. Whatever! Talk to you later. Gotta go to bed.

Where is Mr. McFeely when you need him?

Mission Statement: I will use this space to chronicle my journey from drunkenness to sobriety.I will use it to convey all the thoughts and emotions that are experienced and encountered along the way. In other words, here is my life. To those that have nothing better to do than to read this, you deserve to lose the time that you wasted reading this.